Late-Night Thoughts
by Roxasolina Lombardi
Summary: Drabble! Dedede can't sleep, so of course it's okay to think about what happened over the years. (Rated T for cursing)


_**Late-Night Thoughts**_

* * *

 _Roxas, by the time you're finished with this, it'll be four in the morning._

 _Dude, you're going to be one sleepy mother fucker._

 _~ **Me**_

* * *

For some odd reason, King Dedede cannot sleep.

Surprise, surprise; he _always_ sleeps right on the dot and wakes up late with a refreshed mind; however, tonight's different. He went to bed, as usual, but then he couldn't will himself to close his eyes and... **sleep**. This, of course, infuriates him, and he gets out of bed, turning on the lights in his room and begins to pace around his bed.

Because it literally _that_ hard to get him to sleep.

"What the actual _fuck_ ," Dedede growled out, feeling energized for some reason, "is wrong with me?"

He unlocks his balcony doors and pulled it open, feeling the cool night breeze blow into his room. Walking out, he goes to the railing and peers down, seeing the courtyard below, empty and devoid of life. When he glances to his right, where the gate to town is, he sees the Fountain of Dreams, pristine water flowimg under the sparkle of the cresent moon. There's nothing on his right; he takes a glance anyway. He then looks up at said cresent moon and sigh heavily, a small hint of annoyance in it.

"Maybe Kirby just _had_ to push my buttons one too many times!" Dedede suddenly says. "Yeah, that has to be it!" Kirby was, as always, a nuisance, and almost destroyed the eastern wing of the castle earlier. After calling Meta Knight and throwing KYS-insults at the pink pest, he managed to at least not get said wing destroyed. _Maybe I should call Meta Knight is Kirby decides to do that again_ , Dedede thought as he remembered Kirby laughing at the insults he threw. "Because clearly, Meta can do better." And he can; he just either want Dedede to solve it on his own (that bastard) or not show it at all.

"Or... maybe it's that... Haltmann thing that happened."

Dedede, to be frank, had no idea what happened due to being buried under his castle, but from what Kirby, and Meta Knight is he's able, said, he's glad he was under a pile of bricks that belonged to his castle. Even if he managed to get bits a pieces, he's still not satisfied with their stories. As far as he is concerned, Kirby saved the planet from becoming a mechanical being, essentially, and the machine called STAR DREAM almost annihilated the planet. _And he done that by using one of their robots_. "Man, that sucks for them; should've put more firewalls on those things," Dedede mutters to himself.

He then groans loudly, turning around and plopping himself on the floor, leaning back on the rails. "Am I really saying my thoughts right now?" he growls out as he scratches the back of his head.

"Well, there is that Floraian predicament."

Which, to be fair, was him being unlucky but at the same time lucky; he got _another_ advisor out of that. Taranza seemed to be the one thst doesn't leave home, so Dedede merely asked him to keep an eye on things up in Floralia since it's a long walk over there.

"There's also Magalor."

Who, to him, was a cheating, lying, _piece of shit_ that really deserved gatting walloped by his hammer. The Halacandran had good intentions, but he played everyone in the end.

"... Subspace..."

The third Smash Bros tourney was meant to be a life-changing event for Dedede. He got to meet other people from different universes and fight against them for a claim of the Smash Champion.

Until Tabuu attacked.

Literally, he played on no one's team. Every man for himself, right? He made those timer badges for a reason, though. It was to work as a fail-safe if _he_ ends up getting trophized; one minute something fell on his head, the next, he had two veterans staring at him, which means, it worked.

Thank Nova that no one chewed him out on that.

"...Yin-Yarn..."

What was literally _entirely_ the whole point of his conquest? There's was nothing **significant** at all, and he gotten beaten for no reason whatsoever.

"...That wizard from...*yawn*... those islands..."

He forgot the name, but goddamn it, he managed to split Kirby into 10 little ones. If one whole Kirby wasn't annoying enough.

"...Dark Matter and his Zeros."

Basically, possession all over; Kirby had to reiterate what those... _things_ had done.

"... and..."

He blinks, feeling sleep crawl to him.

"...me."

When he... stole Dreamland's food, he really... thought that he was...

* * *

Bandanna Dee, or Ban, opened the door of His Majesty's room after knocking it several times.

"He's not in there?" Kirby asks and Ban walks inside along with the former speaker.

"What does it look like, Kirby?" Ban says quietly as he glances at the messy bed; no king.

"The balcony doors are op- _found him_."

The two puffballs walk over to the doors and saw that the king was okay... if you call sleeping right on the balcony railing okay. Kirby starts to giggle and Ban puts the papers down.

"Great King?" Ban says, the king mumbling something in response. Or to himself; Ban isn't quite sure on what was the thing he's mumbling.

"Maybe we should just lock the doors on him or something, " Kirby says, a snicker coming out of his mouth. "That will make my day."Ban gives him a look and Kirby sighs. "Darn it, Ban. I wanna have fun today!"

"He's _sleeping_! How is that fun?!"

"What's fun?"

The two puffballs snapped towards the king, who was rubbing his eyes. "Ban, what are ya doing... here?"

As Ban explained himself and Kirby smiles that innocent smile of his (little fucker, Dedede thinks as Ban hands him the papers, you lie), Dedede looks behind him to see that the sky was a dark orange. Ban looks at him and asks, with nervousness, why he was sleeping outside.

"... Honestly, I don't know," was all he says before walking inside to start the day.

Honestly, he doesn't know. All he knows is that he somehow got to sleep, and that was fine with him.

* * *

 _Scratch that; two in the morning._

 _Small drabble, since I have the same problem as Dedede has here. Hope it's decent._


End file.
